My LOST Retrospect

So I get a little geeky about Lost.  Not so much about the show really (however I do think it’s probably the best written show of its kind…ever) but about everything that surrounds the show.

Now that the show is over, I can throw in spoilers and not just feel like I’m talking in code to people who know and who have now seen the light.

There’s 2 really main reasons that I will immensely miss the weekly cult meeting that is Lost.

First – the show created for me an additional community.

I discovered the show because of my friend Dale, and for a season, I watched the show with a group of people in California.

Then I went on the road and we watched the show in our truck on DVD. Our team cramped together in the back of a F-350 as we drove from state fair to state fair. Chloe, Mark and I debated ideas as Eddie in the front seat mocked us.  (editorial note: Eddie is now a believer)

Then, in Nashville, faithfully, every week, a new tribe would gather at the Kirk’s lovely residence and have a meal created by one of our own hands.  Everyone would chip in, and I don’t believe our main course was ever purchased at a store or restaurant.  I don’t think this was intentional, but somehow just solidified that this is a group of people who grew to love to nurture each other.  Over dinner we would catch up on each other’s lives, laugh at each other’s stories and bear each other’s burdens.   Bread was broken (normally bread made by Katy.)

And as the show drew near, Betsy would put baby Sophia to bed and we would take our traditional spots in the living room and share new theories and ideas.  Who we might be disappointed in.  Who we were cheering for.  And during the show, Sarah would complain that Charlie hadn’t reappeared in an alternate time, Ashley and Zayne would sigh whenever Sawyer would be shirtless, Joe would make fun of Sarah, Ashley and Zayne, Harrison would make a witty comment, Kenny would make a statement verging on sounding like a non-believer.  Anna (we missed you this year), Freya and Winston would fact check.  Everyone else has their place as well, I’m just condensing for space!

And this group of musicians, students, teachers and professionals would stare in disbelief as the show would wrap, and more theories would be dispelled and created.  Someone would offer to research a prop that was in the episode to see if it might be an Easter egg of sorts.    People would exchange pleasantries and wish the others well for the week ahead.

For me, each week started to feel more like Sunday dinner with the family. I realized late in the game that none of us were able to have Sunday dinner with our natural family, as I believe we were all transplants from other areas.  So maybe, in some ways, this was more about meeting a need than watching a show.

Second – Lost is a show about choices.  Free will.  Second Chances.  Changes of heart.  Love.  Loss.  Pain.  Fear.  Life.  Death.

Redemption.

And the understanding that we can’t make it alone.

In the end, the show forgot about a lot of the Sci-Fi questions, and, being that I’m really not much of a Sci-Fi fan, that was completely fine with me.  I like people and personality.  I really didn’t need to know what the big light was made of.   But I like what Desmond, Jack and Hurley were made of.  I didn’t need to what made Sayid get his human-ness back, I just needed to know that he was willing to die for his friends.  And I needed to know that Sawyer would make a move for the greater good.

So, while I understand people who are more science minded might have not enjoyed the finale as much, I loved it in a bittersweet way.

Because Lost is about relationships.  It’s about finding the best in each other.  It’s about breaking bread, and family dinner and realizing everyone has skeletons in their closet.  But what matters is what we do with right now. It is the choices that we make today.

And community matters, no matter where you create it.

Thank you JJ Abrams, Jeffrey Lieber, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse for 6 great seasons of TV.  And thank you Joe and Betsy for opening your home to us, week after week.

the list

I’ve had a really amazing soul searching journey after my little blog about dating. More people read my blog than I thought! Some comments have been very positive. Some have seemed flat out confused. It hasn’t helped my dating life, not really surprised by that.

I want to first thank Josh Kidney for his great blog on the subject (read it here! It’s good stuff – http://joshkidney.blogspot.com), and Dave for his letter, posted yesterday…

First off, Josh, I do want you to know that I don’t think bad of all men, just a few that have inspired these blogs….it’s really just a few… In fact, I would like to thank you for striving to live your life well. It’s apparent in all you do, and I’m really excited to get to meet your wife soon. Dave’s email deserves it’s own blog.

So I’ve had many conversations over the past 2 weeks about dating, good guys vs bad guys, girl’s expectations, why girls are so complicated, etc., and it’s really caused me quite a bit of soul searching. (I’m thinking that either a job as a dating counselor or a book deal must be a next step….).

Josh – never underestimate the power of a guitar to woo girls. Also, I think you are right on with the adventure statement. I think honestly all women want the man who, without wavering, will slay the dragon for the good of the world – and more importantly – who will slay the dragon, just to protect, us.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I still have much soul searching to do.

A friend of mine has a knack for bringing Freedom to the table. She made a comment about individually giving up things to God – situations, people, feelings – so they can be completely off your plate. Considering just what things in your life still need to be redeemed.

I’m guessing part of my past blog might have stemmed from residual marks from past relationships still lingering in the back of my mind.

So I made a list. A list of men that I dated or hung out with or just flat out shouldn’t have even finished the first conversation with. For a few of you, I’d like to note this is not necessarily about sex. Lets keep it clean kids.

While driving late last Tuesday evening, I made a list mentally. I was honestly surprised by the number of names. Granted, I’m pushing 40, but subtract that I was married for several years. So figure, this is really based on 12 years of dating.

And then I made the list physically, via Sharpie on printer paper. In the kitchen, where all smart ideas happen.

While lying in bed several hours later, I remembered one more name…so the list migrated back to my room and I left it, with the sharpie, on the bed. For 4 days. A few more names were added to the list over that time. A few more memories and laughs about awkward dates, a few more scenerios for a future script.

One morning, the summer sun was blaring through my window and I rolled over to escape its rays…only to open my eyes to a list of names. It was a strange pause to realize that I had welcomed them all briefly back into my life, and into my bed, for a few days.

Following this moment, I was on a quest. I needed to know where each person was. Granted, I couldn’t remember some of the last names, and I am unsure of 2 of the first names. But the majority I could find. I added to the initial list a detail or two that seems to be defining their existence. Family. Work. Whatever little blerb I could discovered from 2 lines on a google search.

This whole thing has been amazingly refreshing. Many of these guys have had huge life changes. 2 have dabbled in mixed martial arts. Several have kids. Some seem lost, others –found. A few are believers. Most are not. One made a film. Many seem to be in the very same place I left them.

And I prayed for them. Each and every name. Specifically. For their lives, their families lives, their past and their future.

My heart is full. I hope their lives are full.

So along the drive through the vast breadbasket of Illinois, I found a substantial creek that was crossing inbetween an unidentifiable cornfield, and I put the list of names in the river. There’s potential symbolism here – Moses going down the water, redemption, baptism. I’ll vote for baptism. An acquaintance asked why I didn’t burn the list or rip it to pieces, but I told him that was an obvious guy violent statement. I don’t mean any harm. This is about redemption. Renewal. Revival.

So now, in my pact with the ladies to only date nice boys – no, men – from here on out…perhaps now I’m a nice girl too.