I’m reading an article that is making me sad. It asks the question:
Are you addicted to makeup?
Here’s the deal. I love makeup. I have entirely too much makeup in my bathroom drawer, much of it I haven’t ever used. When I walk into an Ulta store, I lose all control. All sense of responsibility. I need to buy everything. In a wide array of colors. Last time I was there, I bought 7 lip glosses. SEVEN. Granted, thanks to a special promo, those 7 were cheaper than buying 2 separately, but I digress.
Some of the findings in the article aren’t that surprising: 1 in 3 women won’t go out – even if only to drop off a kid at school – without makeup on, 6 in 10 wouldn’t go to work without makeup, etc. and I get that. But the statements that got to me were the ones dealing with relationships:
Over 33% felt their partner would not have been attracted to them if they hadn’t been wearing makeup when they met
14% get out of bed early to put on makeup before their significant other wakes up
The average woman waits 2.5 months before going makeup-less in front of her partner.
1 in 10 said they would never let their partner see them without a full face of makeup on.
This completely breaks my heart. First off, if someone is listed as “partner” or “significant other” I’m going to assume that also can be listed as “being intimate with.”
Translation – I’ll get naked with him, but I don’t want him to see my face.
Granted, I will admit that my personality is often probably a bit too laid back. My attitude may be a bit too cavalier when it comes to being accepted for how I look, as life happens and sometimes I just don’t have the time, the means or the desire to make sure I have perfectly lined eyes before the sun rises in the morning.
But the idea that someone would be willing to share not only a bed, but their body with someone who wouldn’t accept them without perfectly rosy cheeks and cinnamon colored lips seems tragic.
And after talking to several of my guy friends, I would guess most of these mates really don’t care if we wear makeup or not.
This could be an extreme way to continue the conversation, but I am concerned that if you’re making yourself hide your face from your mate – what else might you be trying to hide? If you’re not willing to share your face, your real skin, your true self, does that mean you aren’t sharing your true soul as well?
On the flip side, if your significant other is suggesting that makeup is required at all times, that you can’t just be who you are and how God made you, then maybe you need to find a new mate.
I am all about ritual. I get up in the morning, press a pot of coffee, read some Oswald, check Amazon’s deal of the day. This is a morning routine that I love. But if it’s a snowy Saturday and I have nowhere to be, it’s not a stressor if one of the three things didn’t happen. (except the coffee but that’s an entirely different addiction.)
By no means am I suggesting that makeup is bad or that we shouldn’t have pride and care about our appearance. Makeup does transform me and make me feel more confident and beautiful. But what would happen in our lives, our jobs, our relationships if we really just took off the masks, took off the makeup and got real.
A friend and I had a conversation over coffee a few years ago, and joked about how perhaps all our first dates needed to be in jeans, a t-shirt and no makeup. How different would our conversations be? Would our topics change? Would we get to the deep questions of life faster?
We would then, of course, follow up with a no-hold-barred-little-black-dress-and-5-inch-heels dinner invitation.
But maybe I need to look at my relationship with make-up, and make sure that I’m using it to enhance, not hide, who I am inside.
You can read the article here: